Life after Miscarriage or baby loss isn’t easy when it comes to big events in the calendar such as Christmas.

This is when we think of the “what if’s” and the “could have been’s” and “I should have my baby this Christmas”…. all very difficult to manage and live with and brings up constant reminders of what could have been, which in turn delays your grief process.

So how do we cope with Christmas after Miscarriage?

Here are some tips and techniques to help you through….

Prepare

  • Prepare for the day in advance, especially if you know of a family member such as a sister or sister-in-law, who will be there with their baby.  Get yourself in to the right frame of mind on the day.

Breathe

  • Do some mediation,  and breathing exercises.  Breathing is the simplest and most effective way to release stress
  • Sit quietly and take 3 deep breaths into your stomach, feel it distend fully and bring the breath up through your ribs to the very top of the lungs – hold for a count of 3, and slowly release.  As you release imagine autumn leaves floating down and any stress floating away with the leaves. When we breathe in this way we are releasing adrenaline and cortisol, which build up when we are in stress.

Bathe

  • Take a relaxing bath with essential oils such as Lavender, Roman Chamomile and Geranium.  These are my favourite 3 to enhance relaxation and keep you balanced.  Listen to your favourite calming music and soak for a minimum of 15 minutes. Light candles to add to the relaxation and drift away. This is the ultimate in self-care.

Exercise

  • Exercise – a walk in nature will do wonders for you, especially if you’re feeling low.  (Depression hates movement) so it’s the best thing to counteract it. Stretching with Yoga, running, or Qi Gong all work well too – pick your favourite.

Water

  • Hydrate – we are made up of 70% of water and it’s very important we keep hydrated, especially in the holiday season when we maybe drinking alcohol.  Our cells need water to function properly and ideally drinking 3 litres a day of filtered water will keep us right. Avoid water from plastic bottles as the chemicals from the plastic leach in.

Pamper

  • Pamper yourself with a relaxing facial, massage or spa treatment – you deserve it and it will relax you.  If anyone asks what you’d like for Christmas ask them to get you a Voucher for a pamper session.  After my miscarriage I spend time having Reiki Healing and found this amazingly relaxing and it released a lot of emotion I’d been hanging onto.

Laugh

  • Have fun – do something to lift your spirits – watch a comedy movie or show or the company of your favourite people.

Ceremony

  • Ceremony – light a candle in remembrance of your baby  – send them your unconditional love, write down your feelings and everything you’d like to say to them.  Christmas Eve is a good time to do this.

Cry

  • Cry – we all feel better after a good cry as it releases our pent-up emotion – don’t be afraid to let it all out and beat the bed if you have to!  You’ll feel better after.

I hope you find these tips useful and I wish you all my best this Christmas.

If you’d like to listen to my relaxation meditation please register here and I’ll send you a copy.

Photo in Memory of baby Grace Rose, representing all the Angel Babies this Christmas <3 – Please post your Angel Baby’s  name in the comments below.

Check out my book https://jotocher.com/the-book/ – if you’re struggling, it may help ….

“I’ve been struggling today, and your book came at the right time.  First few chapters read and it has already given me comfort”

Much Love to you

Jo xx